Events by Dubsdread specialist Peighton Ballant shares the history behind the wedding tradition of the Father-Daughter and Mother-Son Dance.
Weddings are full of dancing, whether it be your friends and family breaking down on the dance floor, or everyone calming down for a romantic slow dance. Though the first dance as a newly married couple is, of course, the most memorable of the event, the second most memorable dances are the father-daughter and mother-son dances, which often are just as full of love and can leave everyone crying and/or laughing a little.
Whether you decide on the traditional route or choose to create some fun choreography, these dances are a staple at weddings. And when planning for them, you might also have a lot of questions – What song do we choose? How long should the dance last? Where did this tradition come from?
No worries, we are here with some pro tips to answer your questions and give you a bit of history on these dances.
The Origin of the Father-Daughter Dance
The origin of the father-daughter dance is hard to trace, but it does stem from a time when arranged marriages were more common. The father and daughter would join in dance together, and then, midway through the song, the bride would be handed off to her new husband. This transition symbolized the father’s trust and acceptance of his new son-in-law, as well as the husband now being the most important man in the daughter’s life. Nowadays, the dances are typically in a different order, with the father-daughter dance happening right after the couple’s first dance.
The history of the mother-son dance is a little less meaningful in its origin, but no less enjoyed. A much more recent tradition, the mother-son dance, was introduced in modern wedding receptions because the father-daughter dance became more standard. Since the father and daughter shared a special moment, it was thought that the mother and son should have one as well.
PRO TIPS:
Now that you know the history, how do you go about planning these dances?
How do I pick a song?
For either dance, have a discussion with your father or mother and figure out if there is a song that is meaningful to both of you. It can be slow or more upbeat…anything goes! It’s nice to use a song that brings you both back to a moment or something you both recognize, but don’t stress if you can’t come up with anything; there are plenty of websites out there with great ideas.
When should the dances happen?
Typically, the father-daughter dance occurs right after you and your spouse have your first dance, with the mother-son dance following. However, if you don’t want it to happen right after the first dance, you can also do it after the toasts.
How long should they last?
Historically, the dance would last as long as the song, but a more recent trend is to either find a shorter version of the song or go with an edited version, as guests’ attention span starts to shorten after the first minute or so of dancing.
What are some alternatives?
No wedding tradition is one-size-fits-all, and it’s good to know your other options. It is important to acknowledge that some brides and grooms may not have a relationship with their parents, or they may sadly no longer have them in their lives. The bride can choose to dance with a father-figure, such as an uncle or brother, or even her mother. The son can also choose to dance with a mother-figure, such as an aunt, grandmother, or sister. Or don’t even include the tradition at all; it is your night to create your own traditions.
At the end of the day, do what works best for you and your partner. Our team is here to assist you along the way and make sure that your big day is everything you had hoped for and more.
Peighton Ballant is an Event Specialist with the Events by Dubsdread team and has an Event Management degree from UCF. Peighton enjoys working with clients to discover what they are most interested in bringing to their special event, and how to make those ideas come to life. Contact her today at Peighton@EventsbyDubsdread.com.
